It’s the 10 Year Anniversary of my Husband’s Death

Well, depending on your technical definition of death 🙂 In any case, Sean came seconds away from meeting Jesus face to face 10 years ago today. An article was written about the incident in January of 2003 in the Pleasanton Weekly from his dad’s perspective, which I copied and pasted below:

The Day His Son’s Heart Stopped

Brian Felker headed out to the garage the morning of Nov. 9 with his son Sean, 18, happy to have him home from UC Santa Barbara for the weekend. As they were moving things in the minivan, Sean suddenly stepped out of the vehicle and lay on the ground.

“I thought he was goofing around,” said Brian Felker, who was feeling great to be with his son again. But his high spirits plummeted as he saw that Sean looked like he was having a seizure.

“His eyes rolled back. I went over to him and put my hand under his head,” recalled Felker. “I yelled at my wife to call 911.”

“His heart rate continued to climb and climb, like a horse in a race,” said Felker. “He was turning bright red. After some period of time, he then absolutely deflated. He then stopped breathing, his color went white. I couldn’t believe my son’s heart was stopping.”

Luckily Felker, who is a mechanical engineer at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratories, receives CPR and first aid training regularly.

“All I could remember was ABC – airway clearing, breathing and chest compression,” said Felker. “I stuck my fingers down his throat and pulled his tongue out. He took a breath on his own. He took a second breath but it was much weaker. Then he took in no breaths.”

Felker knew he had to do Sean’s breathing for him. “My first breath went into his stomach, I could see that it rose and that really disturbed me. I thought, ‘I know this is wrong because I want the air to go into his chest.’ I couldn’t remember what’s right. I went to give him air again and gave him a couple of breaths. This time his stomach was not bloating.”

At this point, his wife Joann came out of the house holding the portable phone. She relayed to the 911 dispatcher what was happening.

“I cleared his tongue again and said, all right, I have to do chest compressions. If I break his ribs I will love it if he hates me later,” remembered Felker.

All the time he wondered whether he was doing it right. He repositioned Sean’s neck, tipping his head back so he could blow the air in correctly. Chest compressions. Breathing. Chest compressions. Breathing.

“I kept this up, maybe six cycles and at that point could hear the sirens,” Felker said. “I said, ‘Thank you, Jesus.’ I lost track of time.”

Once he knew help was almost there, he relaxed and kept up the efforts. The paramedics told him to keep on going while they set up their equipment. “Within 15 to 30 seconds they said, ‘OK, sir, we’ll take over,'” Felker recalled.

“Another fireman touched me on the should and said, ‘Sir, you need to take care of your family.'”

He and Joann have three others sons: Drew, 15, Matthew, 12, and Jeffrey, 10. “Matthew had the presence of mind to run to our neighbor’s house, who is a fireman, but he wasn’t home.”

Capt. Scott Gatkin was on duty at Station 9 of the Livermore-Pleasanton Fire Department when the call came in.

“We found out the boy was in cardiac arrest,” said Gatkin. “We defibrillated. We put an endo-trachial tube in to facilitate his breathing and started an IV and started medications.”

He continued, “On the scene we were able to return his pulse and blood pressure. By the time we were at the hospital he had spontaneous breathing.”

“Even with all our equipment and our rapid response, if his father didn’t start CPR he may have survived, but he would not have been going back to school,” Gatkin said. “When the heart stops, there is no oxygen going to the brain and the cells start dying within just a few minutes. Even with all we can do and what can be done at the hospital to correct these problems, if you don’t keep the brain alive, someone may just survive to be on a ventilator, in a vegetative state.”

Sean’s story had a happy ending. He was taken to ValleyCare Medical Center, where he was diagnosed with Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome, which means an extra electrical pathway in his heart. He’d noticed symptoms in high school when he didn’t cool down during sports as others did. He was transferred to Mt. Diablo Medical Center where doctors operated to correct the condition.

“When the doctors came out, they were ecstatic,” reported Felker. “They said, ‘He is not just 50 percent better. Now he has a heart like yours or mine.'”

Sean was back at UC Santa Barbara 22 days later. His dad is signing up for another CPR class, although he has taken it about four times over his 23 years at the Lab.

Not only did he return to UCSB 22 days later, but four years later he graduated top of his class in the entire college of engineering…even with all that brain damage 🙂 Also, two facts the article didn’t mention are that Sean was defibrillated five times before a pulse was detected, and spent the subsequent four days in a coma.

Sean and his younger brothers, 3 weeks after his heart stopped. Amazing!

It’s an emotional day for me today as I reflect on how drastically different my life would be without Sean. The outcome would have been so different if he had been alone or with someone who didn’t know CPR. He is my very best friend and God’s greatest gift to me (aside from salvation of course). I’m grappling with words to fully describe how amazing he is, and how thankful I am for him. I truly believe he is the greatest husband and father, and I respect him so much. I come from a long line of broken relationships/divorce, and I will be the first generation to break that cycle, as we are both steadfastly committed to our marriage and faith. Equally as exciting, Caleb+ will be the first in my line to experience a peaceful home in which their parents love God and each other.

Personally, I don’t know anyone who better exemplifies the fruit of the spirit – anyone close to Sean knows he is so full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. He daily lives out Ephesians 5:25 with great humility – “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” For evidence of this, just read my series about my pregnancy with Caleb, and you will know exactly what I mean! I was once told that I hit the “jackpot” with Sean, and it’s true, I did 😉

Thank you, God, for saving my husband in more ways than one. His life has impacted so many, and my heart overflows with joy and gratitude today for your graciousness in allowing him to stay.

Housemate Update

Unfortunately, helping the young woman and her twins did not work out as we hoped. Without going into millions of details (I wouldn’t even know where to begin), she ultimately is not at a place in her life where she is ready to tackle long-term recovery from her drug addiction, and is no longer staying with us (of her own volition).

At the moment I feel bummed. I am sad for her and her children, and that she threw away an opportunity to remove herself from a negative environment and pursue healthiness and stability. I am sad to know what her children have endured and what they will likely continue to endure. I am sad that our investment in this young woman’s life did not yield change (or at least any change I can see). I am also dealing with some feelings of failure – like if I had done some things differently, the outcome might have been different. But ultimately, I know that God is in control and loves her and her kids (way!) more than I do, and that truth is something I have had to return to over and over. I will continue to pray for her and her kids – mainly that God would change her heart, transform her life from the inside out, and set her free.

Though I feel a great deal of sadness, I also feel relief. Honestly, the last few weeks have been extremely stressful and draining for us. The experience was a roller coaster of ups and downs and we truly put every ounce of time and energy we possessed into helping her, and it was exhausting. This experience only lasted 2.5 weeks, but I think we will need twice that just to recover 🙂 The situation was painfully stretching for me and I was forced to rely on the Lord in a unique way I had never experienced before. Once I have had a little more time to fully process everything, I will share more of my thoughts in an upcoming blog.

We really want to thank all you who prayed for us, encouraged us, and donated clothes, baby items, etc. We felt so loved and supported by you and are so grateful we didn’t go through this alone. It was such a blessing to have so many fellow Christians come alongside us in this whole process and demonstrate the love of Christ 🙂

We’re Getting Three Housemates!

When we moved to the east bay last summer and bought a house, we purchased a four bedroom home because our plan is to eventually adopt as many children as God gives us capacity for. As we searched for homes, we decided it wise to purchase a bigger home now, in order to provide for these children down the road while housing prices and interest rates are so low. However, with just the three of us right now, we are only using two of the four bedrooms.

Since moving in, I have entertained the idea of using our downstairs bedroom to provide housing to someone in need once we set the room up. It just seems to me a colossal waste (and selfish hoarding), to have two empty bedrooms while there are so many who are homeless (particularly in this economy). We finally finished our guest room in July, but the summer had been a busy one and I put my hopes to use the room to bless someone on the back burner. Then on August 4th, I saw a status update in my facebook news feed that caught my eye. It was written by a woman who I met while Sean and I were raising funds to be missionaries with Campus Crusade for Christ (and who faithfully supported us while we were on staff with the organization). It read:

Hey I woudn’t have made it if it weren’t for someone who stepped out of their “nice little life” and brought me and my daughter in during a very bad time in my life. Think about it……. God saves but He uses His people to help other people. I will always be grateful to Alan and Danette Lauer who opened their house to me, a lost, broken up drug addict in the 70’s. Did they know what they were doing? NO… But did they trust God? YES AND I AM SO GRATEFUL!

I read the post over and over and couldn’t stop tears from welling up in my eyes. What a powerful testimony! I don’t even know this woman well personally, but I do know she is an amazing woman of God and has an incredible, thriving prison ministry that is impacting numerous inmates’ lives. I just kept thinking: “I want us to be them. I want us to be Alan and Danette Lauer. We have no idea what we’re doing either, but I want to trust God like that.”

I couldn’t stop thinking about her post for the rest of August, so during our 5 year anniversary get-away over labor day weekend, I brought it up to Sean. I read him her post and my desire for us to open up our downstairs bedroom to someone in need. He readily agreed, so we added “contact our church to see if they know anyone in need who could use our downstairs bedroom for free to bless them (single mom, a young girl who recently aged out of the foster care system, missionaries, etc.)” to our list of actions we wanted to take immediately.

When we returned from the trip, I emailed the local missions director at our church to ask her if she knew of anyone. Within a couple of days, I received a response that she indeed knew of a single mother of four who was currently pregnant with twins and living in a motel. She said she has known this family for quite some time and believes this is the turning point for this young woman. She also informed me that her children were being placed with a “safe family” (a family that agrees to take care of children for a short period of time during a crisis situation). After receiving her email, we set up a time to meet this last Thursday (9/20) to discuss this young woman’s situation further.

At the meeting, I quickly received a curve ball and was told she had delivered the twin boys via emergency c section at 35 weeks gestation the day earlier. During the meeting, I just kept thinking: “I can’t imagine having just had a major surgery, two newborn babies, no home to call my own, and no help from a spouse.” I came home and told Sean all about the meeting, we prayed together, and determined this is something God is calling us to do. So tonight this young woman will be coming to stay with us, and her twins (who are one week old today), will soon follow when they get released from the NICU. Talk about a madhouse! 🙂 Right now, our commitment is to provide housing for her, help her care for her twins, assist her in securing longer-term housing, and enable her to attend an addict recovery program during the next 5-6 weeks.

This may just be the craziest thing we’ve ever done (or at least right up there), and while I’m apprehensive about the unknown and selfishly grieving all the sacrifices we’ll have to make, I am thrilled by this opportunity to lay down my life (John 15:13), and to deny myself and take up my cross to follow Jesus (Luke 9:23). 1 John 3:16-18 states: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.  If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”

Even if this young woman’s life remains unchanged by this experience, I know our lives will forever be changed (and I hope this will be the first of many more opportunities like this to come). Though this experience will be difficult, I’m sure, I am excited for my character to be refined and molded more and more into the likeness of Jesus. “At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by ‘I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.’” -Mother Teresa

Please be praying for all six of us during this time, we will need it!! But hey…good thing God won’t give us more than we can handle right!? Haha! 😉 But seriously, this will be a great opportunity to put into practice what I recently blogged about. Isn’t it funny how God does that?? Maybe I should be more careful what I blog about in the future, because it seems He likes to test me on my subject matter soon after posting to see if I really understand 🙂

5 Year Marriage Eval

View from our balcony

Making fun of Caleb’s stank face of course…seriously, this is what he looks like half the time

Sean and I just returned from a fun trip celebrating our 5 year anniversary in Santa Barbara where we met at school! It was the first time I was separated from Caleb for more than six hours since he was born, and while we missed him a lot, it was great to spend three days of uninterrupted time with each other (and from what I hear, Caleb had a blast with his nana, pop pop, and uncles)! Yesterday morning I asked Caleb if he wanted “mama” or “nana,” and he said “nana”…burned! Haha!

While the trip was super restful, we also used it as a time for us to intentionally take a pulse of our marriage and lives in general. We brought Mark and Grace Driscoll’s book “Real Marriage” on the trip, and over the course of the weekend, we talked through each question at the end of the book. We concluded the weekend by creating a list of areas of maturation for us and goals to work towards, as well as areas we agreed we are experiencing success in. I decided to share both lists on my blog as a record for us to reference, as well as for accountability. If I share our areas of needed growth publicly, I think we will be more likely to take them seriously. We also invite those of you who are actively involved in our lives to hold us accountable to these things, and periodically check in with us and ask how we’re doing with them.

20 areas of growth/actions we want to take immediately/future goals of ours:

  • Sean wants to begin attending the Wed. morning men’s Bible study to be in fellowship with older men
  • Pray for mentors/mentees for both of us
  • Enroll Caleb in an LARPD class to meet moms in the area who are not from my church (in order to branch out my friendships)
  • Invite our neighbors over for dinner
  • Sean wants to consistently bike to/from work four days a week
  • Be in bed by 11 pm so we get more sleep
  • We have appointed Friday nights as our sabbath and want to respect that
  • Make a meal plan, eat more meals with Caleb, and I want to cook more (Sean does a lot of cooking)
  • Walk together at least three times a week to pray as a family
  • Sean wants to grow in spiritual leadership of our family
  • Begin researching adoption options more in depth
  • Grow in hospitality and invite couples from our young married’s bible study over for dinner at least once a month
  • Sean wants to pursue friendships with other men more and I want to pursue deeper friendships with my women friends in Livermore
  • Finish working on our kitchen, downstairs bathroom, and laundry room by January
  • Pray for our families more
  • Watch less TV and read more instead
  • Be more disciplined about reading the Bible daily
  • Work towards buying a bigger car next summer
  • Strive to be more welcoming and outgoing in group settings
  • Contact our church to see if they know anyone in need who could use our downstairs bedroom for free to bless them (single mom, a young girl who recently aged out of the foster care system, missionaries, etc.) I know this one will be hard for me because I really value my privacy/alone time, but Jesus said to deny myself and lay down my life for others…so I will work towards that

20 strengths of ours:

  • We communicate well and are honest, open, and transparent with one another
  • Actively pursuing community and friendships in Livermore
  • Recently took on a leadership role in our young married’s bible study at church
  • Faithful in attending our church weekly
  • Pursuing relationships with our neighbors
  • Serve one another well and share the work load (personally I would say Sean does this better than me)
  • Staying “mission minded”
  • Always self-evaluating and checking if we are really living out our faith
  • I have done a good job exercising consistently
  • Consistently praying individually
  • Take our respective jobs seriously and are hard workers
  • Spend/save money wisely and tithe 10% (and more) of our income faithfully
  • Make connecting with each other a priority
  • Verbally affirm each other often
  • Genuinely enjoy one another
  • Challenge one another and push each other to become more like Christ
  • Both of us spend a lot of quality time with Caleb
  • Constantly have meaningful conversations and are always seeking to learn and grow
  • Always eat dinner together
  • “Fight” well (i.e. we don’t yell at each other, we resolve the issue before going to sleep, we strive to empathize with one another, etc.)

Of course we could easily come up with far more than 20 areas we could pursue growth in, but I think that’s a good/manageable start. I’m excited to see what God does as we strive to make healthy spiritual, emotional, and physical changes in our lives moving forward from here!

The New Middle Road

“It’s so weird how in the Church we’ve twisted this and follow Jesus is a different game. You don’t really have to flap your wings. You can just sit there and do it in your heart. Seriously…you know when I read the Scriptures it says whoever claims to know Him must walk as Jesus walked.” A challenging Francis Chan clip – painfully convicting and yet so funny, as usual. Here’s another favorite Francis Chan clip of mine, in case you missed it earlier this year.

God Won’t Give You More Than You Can Handle?

Since becoming a Christian, I’ve heard the phrase “God won’t give you more than you can handle” on numerous occasions. Heck, I’ve heard it so often that I accepted it as Biblical truth and have used the phrase once or twice to encourage myself or another Christian. After all, at first glance it sounds good, feels good, and appears like it could be Scriptural truth. So what’s the problem? The phrase is simply not found anywhere in the Bible.

I am embarrassed to admit this was a recent discovery of mine. After a recent conversation in which the phrase popped up yet again, I felt prompted to research it further. As I searched for the Bible verse(s) this phrase might be quoted from, I could not find any. The most similarly worded verse I found was 1 Corinthians 10:13 – “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” Morphing this verse into “God won’t give you more than you can handle” is clearly a gross misinterpretation.

In truth, one cannot read the Bible without observing that many of the Biblical characters we admire were given far more than they could “handle.” Moses, Jonah, Jeremiah, Job, Esther, Paul, Peter, etc. etc. Let’s also not forget the millions of martyrs in the history of the Church…I’m assuming death was probably more than what they considered they could handle. The clear truth from the myriad examples found in the Bible is that we are often given more than we can handle in our own power.

Not only is this expression absent from Scripture but it is an affront to the truth that God has revealed in His Word. A situation I can “handle” is one in which my own power and abilities are sufficient. However, the whole point of the Gospel is that because we are sinful, we are unable to handle the most important issue of our lives – our separation from God. This is why we need the work of Christ on the cross…between sin’s destruction and Satan’s scheming, we all find ourselves in a situation that is far more than we can handle. In fact, in the Gospel of John, Jesus himself said “apart from me you can do nothing.”

Moreover, aside from simply being untrue (and an offense to those who are dealing with a situation that is more than they can handle), an additional problem with saying “God won’t give you more than you can handle” is that it takes the emphasis off of God and puts it on us. In reality, God repeatedly allows us to find ourselves in difficult situations to foster a healthy dependence upon Him. Ultimately, it is God himself who “handles” a situation, and thus demonstrates He is the one in control – not us. The truth is we are in constant, daily need of God’s intervention, and until we learn that lesson, we will find our hot-headed, independent, prideful selves back in our anxiety-ridden delusion that we are in control of our lives.

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

So let’s retire this saying and replace it with this: Yes, God most definitely will allow you to experience situations that are more than you feel you can handle, but God can handle it. As we trust Him, He will be faithful to provide and though our lives may not transpire as we hoped, we can take comfort in the knowledge that His will for our lives is ultimately what is best and will bring Him the most glory…and that is all that matters.

Allison & Ashley: Two of my Heroes after Pregnancy

If you’ve been following my pregnancy series, you know my pregnancy with Caleb was challenging. I was very sick and in a lot of pain, but through the experience, God really taught me a lot. I have always led a healthy, and for the most part, physically pain-free life. This is something I have always taken for granted because I never knew otherwise, until my pregnancy. I understand now how incredibly difficult physical disability can be, and how thankful I should be for the good health God has given me. God’s heart is that we would be joyful in every circumstance (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), and through my encounter with physical pain, he revealed it’s an area I have plenty of room to grow in.

An additional way the Lord grew me through my condition called pregnancy, was in granting me a deeper love and respect for people who have ongoing physical challenges. It was a theme I meditated on a great deal during my pregnancy, and am currently meditating on again as I re-live my pregnancy via this blog. Specifically, there are two people God has continually brought to mind who I want to tell you about. I love them both dearly, and after my comparatively short encounter with discomfort and pain, I appreciate them even more. I think most of us could probably learn a thing or two from them.

Allison

The above photo is of one of my best friends (who also happens to be my lil’ sis), Allison. At age 11, she was diagnosed with spondyloarthropathy, which is a rare form of juvenile arthritis that results in inflammation of the back, hips, knees, ankles, and eyes. It has no cure, and the pain cannot be completely relieved. She takes pain medication daily, has chronic pain in her knees and hips, and has had numerous stints with iritis which causes her to lose vision for a period of time.

Ashley

This second photo is of another one of my best friends, Ashley Harman, who I recently had the honor of bridesmaid-ing for in her wedding. She was born with Spina bifida, which was caused by a benign tumor that pinched the end of her spinal cord and weakened the muscles to her leg and bladder. Although she has had this condition from birth, it was not diagnosed until she was 15-years-old.

As a result of spina bifida, Ashley has not only experienced a great deal of physical pain/limitation, she has also experienced significant emotional hurt. One of the most heartbreaking aspects of her story is that growing up, she would often urinate herself at school because a symptom of spina bifida is a loss of bladder control. This occurred for many years and resulted in ridicule from peers and fewer friends throughout her childhood. She has had countless surgeries to repair the damage, requires a catheter every time she uses the restroom, gets persistent infections, and experiences chronic pain in her foot. Like Allison, it is something she has dealt with her whole life, and will continue to deal with for the rest of her life (unless God chooses to intervene, which I pray passionately for!!)

I cried as I wrote these last three paragraphs because Ashley and Allison are two of my absolute favorite people. Despite immense physical challenges and obstacles throughout their lives, they are such joyous and loving people. I never hear them complain about their pains, and I oftentimes forget either of them even have any physical problems until a severe symptom pops up, or they periodically ask for prayers of healing. They both have a strength and perseverance that is truly inspirational. I have learned so much from them about being joyous and giving glory to God no matter what “thorns” you’ve been given in life. I know they have already touched many through their lives, and will continue to do so. Thanks A & A for your impact on my life, you guys are my heroes…I know life hasn’t been the easiest for you and yet you still trust God with all your hearts.

P.S. I wouldn’t be a good older sister if I didn’t put a plug in for my sis right now. If you are single, Godly, and good looking (lol!), I think you should consider asking Allison on a date*. She is all the cool things I mentioned above, plus smart, beautiful, kind, and funny! I don’t think you would regret it 😉 Hahahahaha! Sorry Allison, already published this post…can’t go back now!

*Applicants must be male. Some restrictions may apply. Please contact me for details. Offer expires 3/16/2012. Void where prohibited. 

God is Funny

God sure does have a good sense of humor. I finished writing the post about baby Katie Beth on Wednesday afternoon, but decided to hold off on publishing it because I couldn’t think of a good title. Well, less than four hours later, I fell off a curb and rolled my ankle, slammed my knee on the concrete, and messed up my toe. We went to the ER, and I am now wearing a boot and using crutches. Sean used up his sick leave the week before because we got the flu, and my mother-in-law who usually helps with Caleb flew out on Wednesday (Wednesday!!) to Illinois to visit family for eight days. Best part is I have a highly active 10-month-old boy who is getting into absolutely everything he shouldn’t be right now, and requires constant chasing. Oh also, did I mention I’m a bridesmaid in a wedding on Saturday? Is it just me, or does anyone else find this absurdly ironic??

As we were driving to the ER, I kept thinking about the blog post I had just written. I really don’t think it was a coincidence. I mean, how many times have I fallen off a curb (a curb, really??) in my lifetime…hmmm maybe once. I don’t think God caused this to happen, but I truly believe he allowed it as a test of my heart. Did I really mean the words I had written just a few hours earlier and my prayers for an “ever-increasing heart of gratitude,” regardless of circumstances?

Honestly, as I sit here reflecting, I love that God allowed that to happen last Wednesday night. I certainly don’t think God is taking joy in it (nor am I), but I am glad He loves me enough to allow me to endure things like this in order to refine me and bring me closer to Him. It’s just the thing a loving Father would do who wants His children to grow and mature.

I fully realize this event pales in comparison to what the Schlichter’s are enduring, but I thought it was the perfect situation to put into practice what God had been teaching me. Rather than becoming upset and frustrated (a natural response), I fought those feelings and intentionally chose to pray and thank God for everything that came to mind. Thank you Lord that my ankle isn’t broken. Thank you it only took 45 minutes in the ER, which is completely unheard of. Thank you that I wasn’t holding Caleb. Thank you I have health insurance that completely covered the injury. Thank you for the sweet nurses and doctor who took care of me. Thank you for Sean’s dad who stayed with Caleb so we could go to the ER. And most importantly, thank you for pain killers 😉

Baby Katie Beth

Last week a couple at our church gave birth to a precious little girl. Unbeknownst to them prior to her birth, she has a rare syndrome called Zellweger syndrome (or possibly another similar condition, tests are still being run). In either case, the prognosis is not good and she has been given between 6 months and 2 years to live. We have only spent one evening with this couple, but we have heard many praises sung about their character through mutual friends at church.

The reason I wanted to blog about this is two-fold. One, I’d like to ask all you who follow our blog to please take a minute right now and pray for them and their daughter, Katie Beth. Here is a picture of her (isn’t she so cute!? Look at all that hair!)

Secondly, (though we have yet to become better acquainted), I honestly haven’t been able to stop thinking about this couple since their little girl was born. This is partly because my heart has been aching for them and the pain they are surely enduring, and partly because, as we have been following their updates, God has really been doing a work in my heart through their response to the situation. I have been incredibly inspired by them and personally convicted as a result. Here are a few things they have written that have hit me like a ton of bricks:

-“[6 months to 2 years is] not as much time as we had hoped to have with our daughter, but we’re thankful for the time we have.”
-“On the way home we talked about how happy we were to be doing this together. There isn’t anybody else I’d rather be doing this with…we thought of couples we’ve seen pass through our community that might not be able to handle this type of stress in their life. But we’ve been in training for five years now, and, at least so far, our spirits are strong and we’re as in love as ever. God works in mysterious ways I guess.”
-“Your prayers are working, and we’ve been blessed to see God working such miracles firsthand.”
-“We continue to have hope that, no matter what happens, we can raise her up in the way that is right as an act of worship to God whom we thank for the wonderful opportunity to care for one of his children.”

Do these words convict your heart like they’ve convicted mine? Put in their situation, would you have a similar God-centered and positive outlook? As I read those words and spend time thinking about this family, God continually brings to mind all the absolutely ridiculous and comparably inconsequential things I complain about. Watching this family deal with such a difficult and devastating situation with such love and thankful hearts, has swiftly knocked me upside the head and put things into perspective for me. It reminds me of the verse in 1 Corinthians 1:27b that says: “God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong.”

Their clarity of mind and big-picture perspective in the face of such unexpected adversity moves me. I only pray that if I ever experience anything like this that I would have a similarly joyous heart. What a wonderful example of a couple who trusts the Lord and His plan so fully, and is truly living out 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “be joyous always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” This is not to say they aren’t grieving and experiencing pain (I’m sure they are), but I believe they are able to remain uplifted because they are grounded in their relationship with Christ and ultimately know their lives rest safely in God’s hands.

I’ll leave you with this prayer that has been on my heart:

Jesus, I pray that you would love on this family right now. I pray for healing and nothing short of a miracle for Katie Beth. Continue to give this family so much peace, hope, and joy. In times of sadness, let them know and experience your intense and passionate Fatherly love. Give them the strength to love little Katie Beth with such fervor. You have paired this couple with this precious little girl for a reason, and I pray that you would continue to use this family to bring glory to Yourself.

Jesus, please give me an ever-increasing heart of gratitude. Help me to maintain an eternal perspective and help me to remember to praise Your name in all circumstances. More than anything, thank you for loving me so much that you would send your son to die on my behalf. I am humbled and in awe of your never-ending and unconditional love.

[An update to this post was published on November 22, 2012. Click here to read it.]