10 Ways Pregnancy Crushed My Dignity: Part 1 – Constipation

If you haven’t yet read the intro to this series, you should do so first before reading on for some context.

Constipation is one of those less talked about, lovely side effects of pregnancy. Due to loss of appetite and nausea, I was very limited on the foods I could handle in the beginning of my pregnancy, so I wasn’t getting nearly as much fiber as I needed. Despite my best efforts to eat a LOT of fiber, going five days without a bowel movement was not unusual. Even with a fiber supplement, two fiber one bars per day, AND trying to eat foods high in fiber, I STILL found myself unbearably constipated for the entire 9 months.

About halfway through my pregnancy, my constipation reached its peak one night after I had gone without a bowel movement for a record breaking seven consecutive days. Sean was on campus that night with students, and I was at home retching on the couch in an incredible amount of pain – my inners felt like they wanted to explode but couldn’t. I finally reached the point of desperation and knew I had to embrace the unthinkable – yes, it is what you are thinking – my very last resort. There is nothing quite as dignity crushing as calling your husband to please come home from work early so he can run to the store and pick up a suppository…and proceed to insert it up your butt. Let’s just say, we got a little bit closer that night 🙂 After a few minutes I felt like I had to poop, and I hurried excitedly into the bathroom. I heard one small bloop, and realized it was just the suppository. Dejectedly, I called again for Sean to reinsert a fresh one, and this time I resolved to wait a little longer. If this doesn’t earn Sean best-husband-of-the-century award, I don’t know what will.

30 minutes elapsed and I was hit by a sudden, intense and overwhelming feeling that made it clear to me the suppository had worked. I had mere moments to respond, so I jumped up from the couch, ran towards the bathroom, and collided at full speed with the bathroom’s door frame which sent me back a good two feet. (Hey – don’t judge; I never could get used to my rapidly growing body). Realizing I had no time to react to the pain of body slamming myself into a wall, I made it to the toilet with no time to spare. I was literally milliseconds from pooping my pants. While this may have made a better story, I’d much prefer to keep my “pooping my pants” story count at 0.

For the remainder of the night (until about 4 am), I had an explosive case of the runs every half hour in which I, once again, found myself running off to the toilet. After the second uncomfortably close call, I determined it best to ditch my pants for the night. If there was previously any doubt as to the effectiveness of suppositories, I will gladly be their poster child.

The other 9 ways pregnancy crushed my dignity:

Parts 2 & 3 – Appetite and Weight Gain
Part 4 – Mourning Sickness
Part 5 – Incontinence
Part 6 – Crazy Hormones
Parts 7, 8, & 9 – Pain, Pain, Pain
Part 10, the Pinnacle – Diarrhomit

Also, read about Caleb’s birth:

Caleb’s Birth Story: Rated PG-13 for Language, Nudity, and Drugs 🙂

And here’s the adventures we had after Caleb’s birth:

Caleb’s Afterbirth – the Hospital (Part 1)
Caleb’s Afterbirth – the Neighbs (Part 2)
Caleb’s Afterbirth – Breastfeeding Blues (Part 3)

Caleb’s Afterbirth – Body Slammed (Part 4)
Caleb’s Afterbirth – Am I an Incompetent Parent (Part 5)

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Melissa Felker

I blog to share my life, entertain, inspire, inform, encourage, challenge (both myself and others), and of course, for personal therapy - haha! I love to write about meaningful experiences and a wide range of topics I find interesting. I particularly enjoy sharing life in a raw and barely censored fashion because I highly value authenticity.

4 thoughts on “10 Ways Pregnancy Crushed My Dignity: Part 1 – Constipation”

  1. LOL! So I did not like being prego but compared to you I guess mine wasn’t that bad! 🙂 Love the storied keep em coming! We can join together and tell everyone the truths about being prego! Cause no one warned me either!

  2. You are an awesome writer! I think many times….much later down the road…people choose to forget the rough parts of being pregnant…maybe?…or at least try to….Much like parenting 🙂 I have been very blessed to have easy pregnancies with both girls. I seriously admire women who have rough ones….and then choose to give it a go a second, third…etc..time. Brave!!!

  3. WOW– you and Sean BOTH are TROOPERS!!!

    After reading the other posts in this series, though, I was really expecting you to poop your pants! What a plot twist! A good one, though 🙂

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