2013 Year-In-Review

Yeah, yeah, I am well aware it is the middle of August 2014, and this is the type of post that should be written the first week of January, but I am coming to terms with the fact that this is what life is like with two littles…always 7 months behind on, well, everything. This includes vehicle registration renewals, which as it turns out, come with some regrettably hefty late fees. Yikes! So, not being one to leave started projects unfinished (no matter how inappropriately timed), here are the 15 most memorable happenings of 2013 for the Felker fam:

1. I was neurotic pregnant the first seven months (which I blogged about at 16 weeks and 37 weeks). As we all know, I simply *adore* the state of pregnancy.

2. When it became apparent we could no longer keep Caleb caged in his crib any longer at 22 months (a sad, sad day), I willed myself to do something other than eat half-baked chocolate chip cookies and watch the train wreck of a sociology experiment (better known as ‘the Bachelor’) in my spare time. We finally cleaned out the-room-of-which-we-did-not-speak (i.e. it was filled to the brim with stuff), and transformed it into Caleb’s new “big boy” room. And when I say “we,” I definitely mean Sean.


3. We finally traded in our dumb phones for smart phones, bringing us into the modern age.

4. Discovered Evie’s sex in an unconventional way, and had a lot of fun with it 🙂


5. Caleb entered the terrible twos, and had I written this post back in January, I would have said that parenting a 2-year-old is a task no human being should be subjected to. But now, I scoff at my naiveté, as I have since been enlightened and know that the terrible twos pale greatly in comparison to the terrorist threes. Before the negative press begins in regards to these comments, I do try to maintain a balanced perspective, and I do love Caleb and who God made him very much, which I wrote a little about here.

Caleb's 2nd Birthday Party
Caleb’s 2nd Birthday Party


And on his actual birthday, Caleb wanted everyone to know he’s sexy and he knows it:

6. Evangeline Love Felker was born on August 1st at 4:08 pm at Kaiser Antioch Medical Center. She was 19.5 inches and weighed a whopping 8 lbs. 11 oz. (thanks, dear daughter, you know how much I LOVE birthing GARGANTUAN babies), which confusingly took her entire first year to double (for reference, most babies double their birth weight by 4 months). But hey, at least I didn’t give birth to her on the side of the road, or barf all over the car due to her father’s poor culinary discretion. You can read her eventful birth story here.


7. Bought our first car ever – a minivan – reversing any coolness factor we may have gained by purchasing smart phones.

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8. Evie had cleft lip surgery on November 21st, which commenced what easily ranks in the top 3 hardest months of my entire life. I tried to think of a way to spin this one humorously, but it’s still just too soon. Too soon.


9. Caleb said and did a lot of crazy stuff, which I’m sure took years off my life, and will all be avenged when we recount them on the day of his wedding.


10. I led a women’s Bible study and formed close relationships with some incredible women, who have continued to be a blessing in my life.

bible study ladies cropped

11. Fun family visits:

12. Took Caleb’s pacifier away. He stopped sleeping. Gave it back. Took Caleb’s pacifier away…again. He stopped sleeping…again. Gave it back…again. If I was sent to a deserted island with my children, and I had to choose between bringing Sean or a pacifier, I’d go with the paci. Just kidding, I would take Sean, but his first task before searching for food or water would be to fabricate a paci and a couple of spares. Seriously, I would cut off my right pinky for paci. I legitimately wonder what they did back in the olden days before pacis. You know, in all honestly, I’m almost positive the invention of pacifiers is the reason child mortality rates have declined so significantly in modern times.

He'll never know I love this paci more than he does
He’ll never know I love this paci more than he does

13. Did lots of exciting outings, celebrations, and activities:

14. Three of my blog posts: “It’s a…,” “Out of Cleft Field: Evie’s Cleft Adventures,” and “Days 6-10 Post-Surgery Update,” reached over 500 hits each in 2013, which practically makes this blog famous. Fo’ real. Digital copies of my autograph are available upon request, however, my schedule is booked in regards to speaking engagements at this time.

15. And finally, this picture won best family photo of the year:

A true gem
A true gem

Evangeline’s Birth Story: The Womb that Cried Baby

According to my early ultrasounds, Evie’s due date was July 29th. According to my calculations, it was July 26th. But then, I figured her due date was actually July 18th, because Caleb was born eight days early, so obviously she would come early too. So you can just imagine my surprise horror when July 18th passed, then July 26th, and then (gasp!) July 29th. Apparently what baby #1 does has no bearing on what baby #2 does – so I learned – and Evie’s birth story could not have been more different to Caleb’s.

Even though Evie arrived “late,” the last month or so of my pregnancy was far from uneventful. At 35 weeks pregnant, I began experiencing painful contractions (not braxton hicks). The first time they began I was at church, and they lasted a couple hours, so I legitimately thought she could be arriving that day. Since I was only 35 weeks, I was completely unprepared, so I rushed home after church to pack bags and get things ready for her. However, by the time I finished getting ready, the contractions had disappeared…and thus began a long 5+ weeks, and the sub-title of this post: “The Womb that Cried Baby,” or alternatively, “my ridiculous 5-week-long labor.”

These on and off again contractions continued sporadically over the next few weeks. Then on July 17th (2 weeks and a day before she was born), while I was at church again (what’s up with that?), they started up yet again, but seemed a bit stronger. Because it was nearing rush hour (meaning if we didn’t leave soon, it could take us up to an hour and a half to get to the hospital), I called Sean and told him I wasn’t sure if it was time yet, but that we should just head out there to avoid getting stuck in traffic. So we made the 45-minute drive out to Antioch, and walked around the lobby to see if my contractions progressed. After 6 hours of consistent contractions, they disappeared again. Poof. I was disappointed and exhausted, but we turned it into a date night at Red Robin, so all was redeemed 🙂

After that day, the contractions came more frequently. About every other day, I had relatively strong, consistent contractions lasting 4-6 hours in the dead of night, that had me preparing for the hospital and thinking: “today is the day!” However, they always vanished by morning, leaving me exhausted from no sleep and super frustrated. It felt like I was on a crazy, totally unpredictable roller coaster ride!

Exactly one week before Evie’s birth, I had a check-up and was 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and she was literally 1/4 of an inch from crowning. I had so much pressure on my pelvis, it felt like I could sneeze and she would shoot out. If you know what prairie doggin’ means, that is literally what it felt like, baby style. It was terribly uncomfortable. Every time I saw my OB, she kept reassuring me – “it really should be any day now,” and then was surprised when I showed up for yet another appointment, and another.

So, the contractions just kept coming and going, as did Evie’s official due date. Three days past her due date, I went in for another OB appointment. My doctor checked me, and even after an entire week of contractions, my stats were the same. The SAME!!! I fought back tears, as she asked me if I wanted to schedule an induction. Flashing a Benjamin out of my purse, I eagerly said yes, most definitely…can my little friend convince you to do it today? (That may or may not have happened, my mommy brain doesn’t remember). She scheduled me for an induction on August 5th (not quite that same day, but I took it).

Leaving the office, I felt so depressed. I know that sounds entirely pathetic, but I was just so frustrated, confused, and exhausted after weeks and weeks of non-committal contractions (and let’s not forget I was pregnant, and overdue at that, which = totally unstable). I called Sean at 10:30 am, and had a complete meltdown. At this point, Evie was 2 weeks late in my book, which is like 2 months in pregnant time. Pregnancy is particularly difficult on my body, and the thought of even one more day sounded impossible. I recall praying in the car: “God, you could make her come right now if you wanted to, and it seems so inconsequential when she comes since she’s full-term, so why can’t it be now??” After a good 5-minute cry and deliberate attempt to release it to God, I pulled myself together and drove home.

An hour-and-a-half later, at noon, contractions began again. “Here we go again,” I thought. Not wanting to get my hopes up again for the umpteenth time, I tried to ignore them and just go about my day. However, by 12:30, they were becoming stronger than they had ever been before, so I called Sean and told him to be on call, since I was worried about getting stuck in traffic. I told him not to come home yet, though, because there had been so many false alarms, and it was likely another one.

Over the next 30 minutes, the contractions ramped up so quickly to a level at which I knew it was time to go to the hospital, so I called Sean at 1 pm and told him to come home right away. (Sidenote: Anyone else think it non-coincidental that I went into labor an hour-and-a-half after having the epic parking lot meltdown? Pretty sure Someone⇑wanted me to stop being so controlling and let it go, let it go and give it all over to Him. Lesson learned). Sean arrived home, we grabbed our things, and left for the hospital at 1:45. Sean hadn’t eaten lunch yet, so he grabbed some leftover pizza from the fridge to eat on the way. We drove about 10 seconds before I politely irritably informed him I could not stand the smell of the pizza. In my mind, that meant he should throw the pizza in the trunk of the car to eat later. In his mind, it meant he should throw it onto our neighbor’s sidewalk. ??? He jumped back in the car, exclaimed “sorry neighbor!”, and we drove off. I love my husband 🙂

Fortunately, we left just before rush hour, so it took just 45 minutes to get to the hospital. My contractions were pretty intense, and Sean made fun of me for most of the way, because he said I sounded ridiculous. At least, that’s how I remember it. In his defense, I did sound ridiculous. Probably the best way to describe the noise I made during each contraction was a semi-melodic voice warm up exercise for a group of tone deaf ogres that rose in intensity and volume every few minutes (Sean’s description) 🙂

We arrived at the hospital, and I was admitted to triage around 2:30 pm. I remember a nurse saying something that implied she didn’t think I was very far along, which I gave a big harumph to in my head. I did all the standard stuff – peed in a cup, answered a million questions, and was examined. The nurse said I was 4-5 cm dilated, and I would be admitted. I was ecstatic at this news (as ecstatic as anyone can be in labor), because that was exactly where I was hoping to be – far enough I would be admitted and not sent back home (like my experience with Caleb), but not so far I couldn’t get an epidural (which I knew from experience, I definitely wanted).

I was transferred to a birthing room around 3 pm, and my contractions were very intense at that point. For some reason I could not wrap my mind around, the nurse’s began asking me the exact same questions I had just been asked in the triage room, but because my contractions were so intense, Sean was answering for me because I was totally unable. Since it was clear I couldn’t answer them, they said they’d resume asking the questions after I got the epidural.

The anesthesiologist (who looked to be about 13-years-old, but who am I to judge), arrived around 3:30 pm, and began the process of inserting the epidural. It was extremely difficult for me to keep still as he inserted the needle, because my contractions were so painful and coming so fast. After 3 attempts, yes THREE (do you know how big those needles are???), he finally got it placed by 3:45 pm.

Ten minutes later, at 3:55 pm, they asked if I could feel the epidural kicking in, and I said I couldn’t. They adjusted the dosage, and told me it could be another 20 minutes before it did its job. A couple minutes later, I felt like I had to push, so I told the nurse. She basically dismissed me, and said: “oh, some women feel that way during the contractions, but it’s not really time yet…but I can check you if you want.” To that I replied: “no, really, I have to push…check me.” Well, she checked, and subsequently panicked as she called the appropriate personnel in, because like I said…I really, actually had to push!

The nurse told me to wait, which could be likened to instructing someone to hit the brakes on a car that has flown off the edge of a cliff. Not gonna help. So I started pushing. As the nurse scrambled to get everything in place, I pushed about 5 times, and out she came. We didn’t even have our camera, video camera, or bags with us, because Sean had planned to go grab them from the car once the epidural kicked in, when things weren’t so intense and I didn’t need him right by my side. My water never broke during labor, so she started coming out inside the amniotic sac, which the delivery nurse (who showed up in the nick of time), was pretty excited about since it’s not something they see very often. The sac burst on her way out, so unfortunately, we didn’t make headlines for a baby born inside the amniotic sac 🙂

Evangeline Love Felker made her grand entrance at 4:08 pm on August 1st, 2013, and she was beautiful. Like I wrote in the post I did detailing her cleft adventures, I noticed something was wrong with her lip right away, but I really didn’t care. We cuddled, and it was wonderful. I tore like I had after delivering Caleb (but not as bad, the nurse said it was nearly a second degree, and she could tell my previous tear was nearly a third degree). She stitched me up, and in an oh-so-timely fashion, the epidural kicked in at about 4:15 pm…7 minutes after I delivered Evie. Served. In fact, double served, because then I was stuck in bed until the epidural wore off since my legs didn’t work – ha! And we never did get to all those questions they were supposed to ask…





So, my entire “active” labor was a total of 4 hours, and I was in the birthing room for only a little over an hour before Evie’s arrival! I suppose it makes sense that once the ball truly got rolling it all happened so fast, since I had practically been in labor for 5 weeks! It was the shortest, longest labor ever. We called all the grandparent’s to announce the news of her arrival, and a short while later, Pop Pop, Nana, and big brother Caleb came to meet her:


Giving Evie a kiss
Probably scheming
A perfectly accurate portrayal of their relationship from day 1. They love each other and thinks the other is absolutely hilarious 🙂

Overall, I would say my labor and delivery experience at Kaiser Antioch was positive…the only major negative was the epidural. I don’t know if my nurse was inexperienced or what, but in retrospect, she really should have checked how dilated I was immediately before the epidural was administered, because I must have been 8-9 cm at that point, and the strength/frequency of my contractions should have tipped her off to that (and epidurals are not supposed to be given that late in labor). Not only was it super awesome to have a huge needle stuck in my back 3 times for medicine that didn’t take affect until after I had already given birth, but the following day, of all the places I could be hurting, the epidural locations on my back were the most sore. So yeeeeah, if we ever have another bio kiddo, I definitely do NOT want an epidural. Noooo thank you. Funny how my attitude on that one did a complete 180…after Caleb’s birth, I thought maybe God had given them as a concession to womankind after realizing the “painful childbearing” curse was a tad bit unequal to men’s “you must work to eat your food” curse 😉

Speaking of Caleb’s birth, I wrote down a few of the interesting differences between the two labors and deliveries. Caleb was born within 48 hours of the first painful contractions I ever felt, and Evie was born more than 5 weeks after the first painful contractions I felt. Definitely set me up for some misguided expectations for round 2! 🙂 With Caleb, my active labor was like a marathon, and with Evie, my active labor was like a sprint. And since my active labor with her was so short, I felt much better physically after Evie’s delivery, than I did after my 19-hour labor with Caleb (which left me feeling like I had been mauled by a bear…then hit by a bus). Getting an epidural when I was in labor with Caleb was a life saver, and getting it with Evie was a total bust. And just in case you’re wondering, given the choice between a marathon labor with an epidural, or a sprint labor without an epidural (like you get a choice, ha!) I would unquestionably pick a sprint labor without an epidural.

The remainder of our hospital stay was also much smoother than with Caleb – I could understand my nurses, I had a private room, Sean was able to stay with me, Evie took much better to breastfeeding (even with a cleft lip), Sean was much less anxious, my body was less jacked up, I felt more confident in my parenting abilities since I was no longer a rookie, I could hang a “do not disturb” sign on my door whenever I wanted, and the hospital even brought us a celebratory dinner. Now that’s what I’m talking about. And when we came home, we weren’t living in an apartment complex full of partying college students!! So all in all, I was very grateful for a much better experience the second time around…despite Evie’s leisurely, tardy arrival. It’s ok, I get it…she’s a female. Just preparing us for the next 18 years 🙂

Click here to read more about Evie’s subsequent cleft experiences, or here to read Caleb’s birth story!

Caleb’s 30 Best Shenanigans

When Caleb was between 20 months and 3 1/2-years-old, he went through an epic “shenanigans” phase. Below, I have documented his 30 best shenanigans during that time period in chronological order. I don’t ever want to forget this awesomeness, since it will be prime material for my speech at his wedding 😉 Let’s be honest, I love the fact that we spawned an evil genius – muahahaha!!!

13 Months Old 

#1: Caleb dialed 911 while playing with my cell phone when I wasn’t looking.

20 Months Old

#2: At Caleb’s first time to the library for toddler story time, he: refused to sit down, kept walking up close to the woman telling the story and blocking the book from everyone, ran circles around the group, weaved in and out of the table and easels up front nearly knocking them over, ran in and out of a storage closet I couldn’t fit into, practically demanded another child’s snack (even though he had his own), and ran into the main library yelling at the top of his lungs…multiple times. When we were leaving, Caleb escaped my grasp for the umpteenth time, and the librarian saw me and muttered under her breath: “oh…it’s you.”

#3: Caleb made a mad dash straight towards a 45 mph street and got halfway across before I caught him and carried his little non-compliant, flopping body back to our car. Of course, he thought it was the most hilarious experience and could not stop laughing!?!?!

22 Months Old

#4: Caleb figured out how to climb over the contraption we put on the top of his crib to prevent him from escaping, so we were forced to convert his crib temporarily until we had his big boy bed/room ready. On one particular morning, he pushed out the bed rail, got into his closet, and pulled out an entire roll of fairly expensive diaper genie refill bags. We have since installed locks on all the closets in the kids’ rooms.


#5: Caleb learned how to take his pajamas/diaper off, and this is how I found him one morning:

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From this moment forward, we duct taped his diaper every night so he couldn’t take it off in the morning. We called it his “superman belt” 🙂

#6: Caleb learned to climb his bookshelf and change the iPod settings. Also, notice there are no books on the bookshelf because he kept ripping them up (and still does).


23 Months Old

#7: Multitasking – climbing the bookshelf AND taking off his diaper.  After he climbed down, he proudly showed me where he had put his diaper…on top of the diaper garbage can of course!


#8: I was getting dressed one morning, when I heard a Black Eyed Peas song playing. My first thought was: “wow, our teenage neighbors are playing that REALLY loud and REALLY early…that’s weird.” I eventually realized the sound was coming from the baby monitor. Caleb had climbed his bookshelf, grabbed the iPod which plays his white noise, changed the “song”, and decided to have himself a little dance party. Then I think he realized he was being watched, and disconnected the monitor.

#9: Plied Sean’s eyelid with a pair of play pliers.


#10: I was finishing getting ready for Church upstairs one morning, and thought Caleb was securely gated in the baby-proofed living room playing, when a suspiciously long period of silence brought me to check on him. As it turned out, he had climbed all the way up the outside edge of the banister of the stairs to the second story landing. I refrained from immediately scolding him so he wouldn’t startle, let go, and fall on the first floor tile. First thing he said once I pulled him over the banister: “bad. trouble. spank.” And he proceeded to spank HIMSELF…twice. I didn’t know whether to laugh, yell, or cry.

Sean’s solution to the stair climbing problem (which was constructed immediately after shenanigan #11)

#11: Caleb broke a bowl while I was trying to unload the dishwasher after breakfast. I locked him out of the kitchen so I could clean up the shards, and when I finished, I found him at the top of the stairs on the outside of the banister again. Immediately after that, we had some friends over for a play group, and he turned on the hose in the backyard and sprayed all the ladies’ diaper bags/purses. Next, he ripped out the second oak tree we had tried to plant (which was completely covered so he wouldn’t), then crumbled the muffin I gave him for lunch and threw it all over the kitchen floor. I’m awarding this one king of the shenanigans, thus far.


#12: He pooped all over his floor, rug, and chair after taking off his pajamas and diaper in the morning…for the third time. I narrowly missed stepping on a piece when I walked in. We have since duct taped his diaper every night before he goes to bed, and we’ve already gone through a roll and a half (no, I am not kidding).

See the poop at the very bottom of the picture?

#13: While I was trying to make breakfast, Caleb repeatedly threw his sippy cup against the refrigerator until it busted and spilled milk all over the kitchen floor.

24 Months Old

#14: Broken kitchen window with a rock. In all fairness, Caleb was only partially responsible for this one. He likes to relocate the landscaping rocks into the grass, and although Sean had thought he picked all the rocks out before mowing the lawn, one was missed and found a home in between the glass panes.


2 Years, 2 Months Old

#15: Caleb slowly but surely picked at and shredded the screen in his room (it looks a lot worse now).


#16: Poking animals’ eyes at the fair petting zoo when Dada and Nana weren’t looking. This poor goat was not Caleb’s first victim (or last).

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Close up

2 Years, 3 Months Old

#17: On our first Target shopping trip after Evie was born, we were attempting to load the groceries and put Evie in the car, when Caleb escaped from the cart, jumped INTO the SUV of the woman parked next to us (who was also loading up her groceries), and started climbing her seats. Fortunately, she was understanding, since it just so happened it was her first Target trip with two kids as well!

2 Years, 4 Months Old

#18: We bought a brand new minivan, and after owning it a whole four days, Caleb rammed the jogging stroller into it and scraped it down the side. Sean’s response: “Well, at least we got that over with quick.”


2 Years, 5 Months Old

#19: Listened to Caleb cry/scream/yell for 45 minutes straight while I nursed Evie in the car and then drove home from the park. In his anger, he also poured out his drink all over himself and the floor. Definite points here for impressive endurance.


#20: At Caleb’s first dental appointment, he figured out how to work the water sprayer (don’t know the correct term for it), and sprayed the office with it…on three separate occasions.

#21: As Sean was changing sheets that Caleb had peed on, Caleb ran over and peed on the only fresh sheets left, as well as Sean’s leg.

Caleb was pretty proud of his accomplishment


#22: Harassing Tomahawk (my sister’s dog) with the vacuum at Grammie’s house:

2 Years, 6 Months

#23: Caleb figured out how to climb his (very) tall dresser, and this is how I found him in the morning. So much for keeping his books out of reach so he can’t rip them.


#24: While nana was watching Caleb during Evie’s surgery, he ran into the bathroom while she was getting ready for the day, grabbed her nightgown, and tossed it…smack dab into the toilet.

2 Years, 7 Months

#25: While showering, Caleb shoved a cap to an empty body wash container down the drain…waaay down.


2 Years, 8 Months

#26: While at Costco, I was intently looking at something deciding if I wanted to buy it, and when I turned back, I found my wallet emptied of every last bill –


#27: Caleb unscrewed his dresser knobs –


2 Years, 9 Months

#28: Caleb discovered the joy of drawing on his closet doors with a pen –


3 Years, 5 Months

#29: Another broken dish. I’m surprised we still have any at this point!


3 Years, 6 Months

#30: While visiting Grammie’s house, Caleb found glitter while he was supposed to be napping and did an art project with it on the carpet. Let’s just say Grammie was not. happy. Gotta love the look on his face, though 🙂


Bonus – 2 Years, 5 Months

Not a shenanigan per se, but here’s a video of Caleb easily overcoming every “childproof” obstacle:

Comical Calebisms: October-December 2013

IMG_2014-01-01-9999_2Over the past three months, we’ve been recording the amusing things that come out of Caleb’s mouth. Enjoy! 🙂

Caleb: “Dada, can I have feta cheese for dinner?”
Sean: “Go ask mama.”
Caleb: (Within earshot of Sean) “Mama, can I have feta cheese for dinner?”
Me: “Whaaaaaaaaaat?”
Caleb: (Turning back to Sean) “Mama said yes.”

Why it’s a bad idea to let your kids watch TV and eat at the same time –
Caleb: (In a very concerned and confused voice) “Mama, where did my bagel go???”
Me: “Ummm, I think you ate it.”
Caleb: (Long pause) “Oh.”

After pooping twice in just a couple hours –
Me: “Caleb, you are a pooping monster!”
Caleb: “I’m not a pooping monster. I’m Caleb!”

I was changing Caleb’s diaper on my bathroom counter, when he reached over and grabbed a nursing pad out of the box, and said: “Mama, do you need another boob?”

Me: “Caleb, I love you.”
Caleb: “I love Briolette.” (A girl in his mommy and me class)

Caleb: “Did you take a shower mommy?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caleb: (Stroking my hair) “Did you wash your hair?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caleb: “It looks…kind of good.”

Me: “Caleb, I really love you a lot.”
Caleb: “I love you…and I love feta cheese.”

A conversation with himself while sitting in his time out chair –
“I want to go upstairs.”
Nooo…dada said nooo.”
“But I waaant to.”
“No. I didn’t cooperate so I have to be in the time out chair.”
“But I waaant to.”
Nooo…dada said nooo.”

Right after Evie’s surgery, while Caleb was watching TV –
Me: “I know it’s been busy and crazy around here lately, but I want you to know that we love you very much and we care about you a lot. You’re our very special boy!”
Caleb: (Without taking his eyes off the TV) “Excuse me, mama.” (His polite way of saying stop talking).

Yelling out his bedroom window at the top of his lungs to his buddy across the street –

Me: “Who do you think is more amazing, mama or dada?”
Caleb: “Pop pop.”

Right after a big poop, in a voice of disgust –
“Ohhh…it’s ooooozing.” (Patting bum) – “I can feeeeel it.”

“I got a mommy, but she really wants to eat.”

This is the conversation we have verbatim *every* time he hurts himself –
Me or Sean: “Caleb, are you ok??”
Caleb: (Yelling incredulously, like ‘why would you even ask me that?’) “NO! I’m NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Caleb: “Run faster mama!”
Me: “I’m running as fast as I can! I’m old and tired.”
Caleb: “You should go to sleep.”

Me: “Evie, we need to pump your legs because you need to get your poop out.”
Caleb: (Disappearing into the garage and returning a couple minutes later with a bike pump).
Caleb: “Let’s pump Evie’s legs!”

Driving home after the Christmas Eve service at church and Evie was crying –
Caleb: “What is her deal??”

“I have a really good nana. I have a really good pop pop. And I looooove Uncle Drew. Tickle tickle tickle!”

Me: “Ms. Christina is sick so Isaac won’t be able to come and play today.”
Caleb: “Can his daddy bring him?”
Me: “No, his daddy is taking care of his mommy and helping her.”
Caleb: “Can Isaac come by himself?”
Me: “No, because he can’t drive.”
Caleb: (30 second pause) “Oh. Ok.”

After Sean said goodnight and left Caleb’s room at bedtime he began freaking out, so Sean went back in –
“Dada, I got scared because you turned the light all the way off, and I almost heard a noise!!”

And here’s a handful more I posted on facebook, pre-October:

Fairly soon after giving birth to Evie –
Caleb: (Patting my belly) “Mama has another baby!!”
Me: (Look of amusement)
Caleb: (Lifting up my shirt) “Let me see!”

Me: “Hey Caleb, do you like Evie’s outfit today?”
Caleb: (Continuing to play and without turning around and looking) “Yeah.”

Sean: (From the living room) “Caleb, are you coming?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “Are you coming right now?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “Are you lying to me?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “What are you doing?”
Caleb: “I’m standing on the table.”

While some friends were over for dinner –
Caleb: (Repeated no less than 10 times) “Pooping…kiss it”

Me: “Caleb, what does Papa say?”
Caleb: “Papa.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Nana say?”
Caleb: “Nana.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Dada say?”
Caleb: “Dada.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Mama say?”
Caleb: “Nooooooo. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.”