Month: January 2014

When Caleb was between 20 months and 3 1/2-years-old, he went through an epic “shenanigans” phase. Below, I have documented his 30 best shenanigans during that time period in chronological order. I don’t ever want to forget this awesomeness, since it will be prime material for my speech at his wedding 😉 Let’s be honest, I love the fact that we spawned an evil genius – muahahaha!!!

13 Months Old 

#1: Caleb dialed 911 while playing with my cell phone when I wasn’t looking.

20 Months Old

#2: At Caleb’s first time to the library for toddler story time, he: refused to sit down, kept walking up close to the woman telling the story and blocking the book from everyone, ran circles around the group, weaved in and out of the table and easels up front nearly knocking them over, ran in and out of a storage closet I couldn’t fit into, practically demanded another child’s snack (even though he had his own), and ran into the main library yelling at the top of his lungs…multiple times. When we were leaving, Caleb escaped my grasp for the umpteenth time, and the librarian saw me and muttered under her breath: “oh…it’s you.”

#3: Caleb made a mad dash straight towards a 45 mph street and got halfway across before I caught him and carried his little non-compliant, flopping body back to our car. Of course, he thought it was the most hilarious experience and could not stop laughing!?!?!

22 Months Old

#4: Caleb figured out how to climb over the contraption we put on the top of his crib to prevent him from escaping, so we were forced to convert his crib temporarily until we had his big boy bed/room ready. On one particular morning, he pushed out the bed rail, got into his closet, and pulled out an entire roll of fairly expensive diaper genie refill bags. We have since installed locks on all the closets in the kids’ rooms.

#5: Caleb learned how to take his pajamas/diaper off, and this is how I found him one morning:

#6: Caleb learned to climb his bookshelf and change the iPod settings. Also, notice there are no books on the bookshelf because he kept ripping them up (and still does).

23 Months Old

#7: Multitasking – climbing the bookshelf AND taking off his diaper.  After he climbed down, he proudly showed me where he had put his diaper…on top of the diaper garbage can of course!

#8: I was getting dressed one morning, when I heard a Black Eyed Peas song playing. My first thought was: “wow, our teenage neighbors are playing that REALLY loud and REALLY early…that’s weird.” I eventually realized the sound was coming from the baby monitor. Caleb had climbed his bookshelf, grabbed the iPod which plays his white noise, changed the “song”, and decided to have himself a little dance party. Then I think he realized he was being watched, and disconnected the monitor.

#9: Plied Sean’s eyelid with a pair of play pliers.

#10: I was finishing getting ready for Church upstairs one morning, and thought Caleb was securely gated in the baby-proofed living room playing, when a suspiciously long period of silence brought me to check on him. As it turned out, he had climbed all the way up the outside edge of the banister of the stairs to the second story landing. I refrained from immediately scolding him so he wouldn’t startle, let go, and fall on the first floor tile. First thing he said once I pulled him over the banister: “bad. trouble. spank.” And he proceeded to spank HIMSELF…twice. I didn’t know whether to laugh, yell, or cry.

#11: Caleb broke a bowl while I was trying to unload the dishwasher after breakfast. I locked him out of the kitchen so I could clean up the shards, and when I finished, I found him at the top of the stairs on the outside of the banister again. Immediately after that, we had some friends over for a play group, and he turned on the hose in the backyard and sprayed all the ladies’ diaper bags/purses. Next, he ripped out the second oak tree we had tried to plant (which was completely covered so he wouldn’t), then crumbled the muffin I gave him for lunch and threw it all over the kitchen floor. I’m awarding this one king of the shenanigans, thus far.

#12: He pooped all over his floor, rug, and chair after taking off his pajamas and diaper in the morning…for the third time. I narrowly missed stepping on a piece when I walked in. We have since duct taped his diaper every night before he goes to bed, and we’ve already gone through a roll and a half (no, I am not kidding).

#13: While I was trying to make breakfast, Caleb repeatedly threw his sippy cup against the refrigerator until it busted and spilled milk all over the kitchen floor.

24 Months Old

#14: Broken kitchen window with a rock. In all fairness, Caleb was only partially responsible for this one. He likes to relocate the landscaping rocks into the grass, and although Sean had thought he picked all the rocks out before mowing the lawn, one was missed and found a home in between the glass panes.

2 Years, 2 Months Old

#15: Caleb slowly but surely picked at and shredded the screen in his room (it looks a lot worse now).

#16: Poking animals’ eyes at the fair petting zoo when Dada and Nana weren’t looking. This poor goat was not Caleb’s first victim (or last).

2 Years, 3 Months Old

#17: On our first Target shopping trip after Evie was born, we were attempting to load the groceries and put Evie in the car, when Caleb escaped from the cart, jumped INTO the SUV of the woman parked next to us (who was also loading up her groceries), and started climbing her seats. Fortunately, she was understanding, since it just so happened it was her first Target trip with two kids as well!

2 Years, 4 Months Old

#18: We bought a brand new minivan, and after owning it a whole four days, Caleb rammed the jogging stroller into it and scraped it down the side. Sean’s response: “Well, at least we got that over with quick.”

2 Years, 5 Months Old

#19: Listened to Caleb cry/scream/yell for 45 minutes straight while I nursed Evie in the car and then drove home from the park. In his anger, he also poured out his drink all over himself and the floor. Definite points here for impressive endurance.

#20: At Caleb’s first dental appointment, he figured out how to work the water sprayer (don’t know the correct term for it), and sprayed the office with it…on three separate occasions.

#21: As Sean was changing sheets that Caleb had peed on, Caleb ran over and peed on the only fresh sheets left, as well as Sean’s leg.

#22: Harassing Tomahawk (my sister’s dog) with the vacuum at Grammie’s house:

2 Years, 6 Months

#23: Caleb figured out how to climb his (very) tall dresser, and this is how I found him in the morning. So much for keeping his books out of reach so he can’t rip them.

#24: While nana was watching Caleb during Evie’s surgery, he ran into the bathroom while she was getting ready for the day, grabbed her nightgown, and tossed it…smack dab into the toilet.

2 Years, 7 Months

#25: While showering, Caleb shoved a cap to an empty body wash container down the drain…waaay down.

2 Years, 8 Months

#26: While at Costco, I was intently looking at something deciding if I wanted to buy it, and when I turned back, I found my wallet emptied of every last bill –

#27: Caleb unscrewed his dresser knobs –

2 Years, 9 Months

#28: Caleb discovered the joy of drawing on his closet doors with a pen –

3 Years, 5 Months

#29: Another broken dish. I’m surprised we still have any at this point!

3 Years, 6 Months

#30: While visiting Grammie’s house, Caleb found glitter while he was supposed to be napping and did an art project with it on the carpet. Let’s just say Grammie was not. happy. Gotta love the look on his face, though 🙂

Bonus – 2 Years, 5 Months

Not a shenanigan per se, but here’s a video of Caleb easily overcoming every “childproof” obstacle:

Over the past three months, we’ve been recording the amusing things that come out of Caleb’s mouth. Enjoy! 🙂

Caleb: “Dada, can I have feta cheese for dinner?”
Sean: “Go ask mama.”
Caleb: (Within earshot of Sean) “Mama, can I have feta cheese for dinner?”
Me: “Whaaaaaaaaaat?”
Caleb: (Turning back to Sean) “Mama said yes.”

Why it’s a bad idea to let your kids watch TV and eat at the same time –
Caleb: (In a very concerned and confused voice) “Mama, where did my bagel go???”
Me: “Ummm, I think you ate it.”
Caleb: (Long pause) “Oh.”

After pooping twice in just a couple hours –
Me: “Caleb, you are a pooping monster!”
Caleb: “I’m not a pooping monster. I’m Caleb!”

I was changing Caleb’s diaper on my bathroom counter, when he reached over and grabbed a nursing pad out of the box, and said: “Mama, do you need another boob?”

Me: “Caleb, I love you.”
Caleb: “I love Briolette.” (A girl in his mommy and me class)

Caleb: “Did you take a shower mommy?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caleb: (Stroking my hair) “Did you wash your hair?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caleb: “It looks…kind of good.”

Me: “Caleb, I really love you a lot.”
Caleb: “I love you…and I love feta cheese.”

A conversation with himself while sitting in his time out chair –
“I want to go upstairs.”
“Nooo…dada said nooo.”
“But I waaant to.”
“No. I didn’t cooperate so I have to be in the time out chair.”
“But I waaant to.”
“Nooo…dada said nooo.”

Right after Evie’s surgery, while Caleb was watching TV –
Me: “I know it’s been busy and crazy around here lately, but I want you to know that we love you very much and we care about you a lot. You’re our very special boy!”
Caleb: (Without taking his eyes off the TV) “Excuse me, mama.” (His polite way of saying stop talking).

Yelling out his bedroom window at the top of his lungs to his buddy across the street –
“HEY FRASER, I HAVE A POOPY DIAPER!!!!!!”

Me: “Who do you think is more amazing, mama or dada?”
Caleb: “Pop pop.”

Right after a big poop, in a voice of disgust –
“Ohhh…it’s ooooozing.” (Patting bum) – “I can feeeeel it.”

“I got a mommy, but she really wants to eat.”

This is the conversation we have verbatim *every* time he hurts himself –
Me or Sean: “Caleb, are you ok??”
Caleb: (Yelling incredulously, like ‘why would you even ask me that?’) “NO! I’m NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Caleb: “Run faster mama!”
Me: “I’m running as fast as I can! I’m old and tired.”
Caleb: “You should go to sleep.”

Me: “Evie, we need to pump your legs because you need to get your poop out.”
Caleb: (Disappearing into the garage and returning a couple minutes later with a bike pump).
Caleb: “Let’s pump Evie’s legs!”

Driving home after the Christmas Eve service at church and Evie was crying –
Caleb: “What is her deal??”

“I have a really good nana. I have a really good pop pop. And I looooove Uncle Drew. Tickle tickle tickle!”

Me: “Ms. Christina is sick so Isaac won’t be able to come and play today.”
Caleb: “Can his daddy bring him?”
Me: “No, his daddy is taking care of his mommy and helping her.”
Caleb: “Can Isaac come by himself?”
Me: “No, because he can’t drive.”
Caleb: (30 second pause) “Oh. Ok.”

After Sean said goodnight and left Caleb’s room at bedtime he began freaking out, so Sean went back in –
“Dada, I got scared because you turned the light all the way off, and I almost heard a noise!!”

And here’s a handful more I posted on facebook, pre-October:

Fairly soon after giving birth to Evie –
Caleb: (Patting my belly) “Mama has another baby!!”
Me: (Look of amusement)
Caleb: (Lifting up my shirt) “Let me see!”

Me: “Hey Caleb, do you like Evie’s outfit today?”
Caleb: (Continuing to play and without turning around and looking) “Yeah.”

Sean: (From the living room) “Caleb, are you coming?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “Are you coming right now?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “Are you lying to me?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “What are you doing?”
Caleb: “I’m standing on the table.”

While some friends were over for dinner –
Caleb: (Repeated no less than 10 times) “Pooping…kiss it”

Me: “Caleb, what does Papa say?”
Caleb: “Papa.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Nana say?”
Caleb: “Nana.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Dada say?”
Caleb: “Dada.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Mama say?”
Caleb: “Nooooooo. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.”