Comical Calebisms: October-December 2013

IMG_2014-01-01-9999_2Over the past three months, we’ve been recording the amusing things that come out of Caleb’s mouth. Enjoy! 🙂

Caleb: “Dada, can I have feta cheese for dinner?”
Sean: “Go ask mama.”
Caleb: (Within earshot of Sean) “Mama, can I have feta cheese for dinner?”
Me: “Whaaaaaaaaaat?”
Caleb: (Turning back to Sean) “Mama said yes.”

Why it’s a bad idea to let your kids watch TV and eat at the same time –
Caleb: (In a very concerned and confused voice) “Mama, where did my bagel go???”
Me: “Ummm, I think you ate it.”
Caleb: (Long pause) “Oh.”

After pooping twice in just a couple hours –
Me: “Caleb, you are a pooping monster!”
Caleb: “I’m not a pooping monster. I’m Caleb!”

I was changing Caleb’s diaper on my bathroom counter, when he reached over and grabbed a nursing pad out of the box, and said: “Mama, do you need another boob?”

Me: “Caleb, I love you.”
Caleb: “I love Briolette.” (A girl in his mommy and me class)

Caleb: “Did you take a shower mommy?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caleb: (Stroking my hair) “Did you wash your hair?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caleb: “It looks…kind of good.”

Me: “Caleb, I really love you a lot.”
Caleb: “I love you…and I love feta cheese.”

A conversation with himself while sitting in his time out chair –
“I want to go upstairs.”
Nooo…dada said nooo.”
“But I waaant to.”
“No. I didn’t cooperate so I have to be in the time out chair.”
“But I waaant to.”
Nooo…dada said nooo.”

Right after Evie’s surgery, while Caleb was watching TV –
Me: “I know it’s been busy and crazy around here lately, but I want you to know that we love you very much and we care about you a lot. You’re our very special boy!”
Caleb: (Without taking his eyes off the TV) “Excuse me, mama.” (His polite way of saying stop talking).

Yelling out his bedroom window at the top of his lungs to his buddy across the street –

Me: “Who do you think is more amazing, mama or dada?”
Caleb: “Pop pop.”

Right after a big poop, in a voice of disgust –
“Ohhh…it’s ooooozing.” (Patting bum) – “I can feeeeel it.”

“I got a mommy, but she really wants to eat.”

This is the conversation we have verbatim *every* time he hurts himself –
Me or Sean: “Caleb, are you ok??”
Caleb: (Yelling incredulously, like ‘why would you even ask me that?’) “NO! I’m NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Caleb: “Run faster mama!”
Me: “I’m running as fast as I can! I’m old and tired.”
Caleb: “You should go to sleep.”

Me: “Evie, we need to pump your legs because you need to get your poop out.”
Caleb: (Disappearing into the garage and returning a couple minutes later with a bike pump).
Caleb: “Let’s pump Evie’s legs!”

Driving home after the Christmas Eve service at church and Evie was crying –
Caleb: “What is her deal??”

“I have a really good nana. I have a really good pop pop. And I looooove Uncle Drew. Tickle tickle tickle!”

Me: “Ms. Christina is sick so Isaac won’t be able to come and play today.”
Caleb: “Can his daddy bring him?”
Me: “No, his daddy is taking care of his mommy and helping her.”
Caleb: “Can Isaac come by himself?”
Me: “No, because he can’t drive.”
Caleb: (30 second pause) “Oh. Ok.”

After Sean said goodnight and left Caleb’s room at bedtime he began freaking out, so Sean went back in –
“Dada, I got scared because you turned the light all the way off, and I almost heard a noise!!”

And here’s a handful more I posted on facebook, pre-October:

Fairly soon after giving birth to Evie –
Caleb: (Patting my belly) “Mama has another baby!!”
Me: (Look of amusement)
Caleb: (Lifting up my shirt) “Let me see!”

Me: “Hey Caleb, do you like Evie’s outfit today?”
Caleb: (Continuing to play and without turning around and looking) “Yeah.”

Sean: (From the living room) “Caleb, are you coming?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “Are you coming right now?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “Are you lying to me?”
Caleb: “Yeah…”
Sean: “What are you doing?”
Caleb: “I’m standing on the table.”

While some friends were over for dinner –
Caleb: (Repeated no less than 10 times) “Pooping…kiss it”

Me: “Caleb, what does Papa say?”
Caleb: “Papa.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Nana say?”
Caleb: “Nana.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Dada say?”
Caleb: “Dada.”
Me: “Caleb, what does Mama say?”
Caleb: “Nooooooo. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.”

Published by

Melissa Felker

I blog to share my life, entertain, inspire, inform, encourage, challenge (both myself and others), and of course, for personal therapy - haha! I love to write about meaningful experiences and a wide range of topics I find interesting. I particularly enjoy sharing life in a raw and barely censored fashion because I highly value authenticity.

3 thoughts on “Comical Calebisms: October-December 2013”

  1. Wow, my eyes are tearing up from all the laughing this early in the morning. He is an amazing little boy, that’s for sure! So adorable, and hilarious!!

Leave a Reply